I have dedicated this blog to my health, but with tears in my eyes today i am not.
Yesterday i had to make the hard decision to put my dog down. He was my baby and my best friend. The last few months i watched as his health quickly deteriorated and was distraught having to say my final goodbye to him yesterday. It is weird reflecting on how much of an impact animals have on us, both big and small. Nearly 10 years with Smudgie and always knowing he was around gave me comfort. But i feel time has dragged on in the last 24 hours because i have noticed his absence deeply. Not having to feed him this morning (as i have for about 10 years) and pulling into the driveway knowing he is not around to greet us makes my heart ache. However, it makes me even sadder knowing there will be a lot more first's without him.
There are so many memories i have of him and us. Too many to write, but i think the best ones off the top of my head are when he used to let himself into the house and wander around because he could. Walking out and discovering he had destroyed his feather quilt, meaning not only he was covered in feathers but so was the laundry. Or always happily giving you high fives.
But there are also other moments such as letting me cuddle him when i got sick and went out to greet him and take photos. Or when i was broken hearted i could step outside and forget because he was always happy to see me and take photos.. However, i think since having a smart phone he was getting over the photos (as seen in the last image).
For those who have lost pets, specifically dogs, you know that the pain gets easier but you never forget them. I know in time, i wont feel how i feel today and maybe for the next week. We lost our first dog (Buffy) 4 years ago and i still miss her. But his death to me was different because i was active in raising him and it showed.
Ever since i was little i remember raising these questions with my mum and asking what will happen to Buffy when she dies and mum said (in not so many words) that she would go up to heaven and she would wait for us and then show us the way when we crossed over. The last 24 hours that has been the only hope i am holding onto. That they are both happy to be reunited again that he is excited he is not alone anymore. I also hope he has access to loads of food because he was an endless pit when it came to eating lol.
So to my dear boy, you always made me smile, even when you were naughty because your big beautiful brown puppy eyes would win me over. I wish i knew if you were okay, but i know in my heart that you will be happy with your best friend again. So, Rest in Peace my little baby, behave, and remember my love for you is endless.
Yesterday i had to make the hard decision to put my dog down. He was my baby and my best friend. The last few months i watched as his health quickly deteriorated and was distraught having to say my final goodbye to him yesterday. It is weird reflecting on how much of an impact animals have on us, both big and small. Nearly 10 years with Smudgie and always knowing he was around gave me comfort. But i feel time has dragged on in the last 24 hours because i have noticed his absence deeply. Not having to feed him this morning (as i have for about 10 years) and pulling into the driveway knowing he is not around to greet us makes my heart ache. However, it makes me even sadder knowing there will be a lot more first's without him.
There are so many memories i have of him and us. Too many to write, but i think the best ones off the top of my head are when he used to let himself into the house and wander around because he could. Walking out and discovering he had destroyed his feather quilt, meaning not only he was covered in feathers but so was the laundry. Or always happily giving you high fives.
But there are also other moments such as letting me cuddle him when i got sick and went out to greet him and take photos. Or when i was broken hearted i could step outside and forget because he was always happy to see me and take photos.. However, i think since having a smart phone he was getting over the photos (as seen in the last image).
For those who have lost pets, specifically dogs, you know that the pain gets easier but you never forget them. I know in time, i wont feel how i feel today and maybe for the next week. We lost our first dog (Buffy) 4 years ago and i still miss her. But his death to me was different because i was active in raising him and it showed.
Ever since i was little i remember raising these questions with my mum and asking what will happen to Buffy when she dies and mum said (in not so many words) that she would go up to heaven and she would wait for us and then show us the way when we crossed over. The last 24 hours that has been the only hope i am holding onto. That they are both happy to be reunited again that he is excited he is not alone anymore. I also hope he has access to loads of food because he was an endless pit when it came to eating lol.
So to my dear boy, you always made me smile, even when you were naughty because your big beautiful brown puppy eyes would win me over. I wish i knew if you were okay, but i know in my heart that you will be happy with your best friend again. So, Rest in Peace my little baby, behave, and remember my love for you is endless.