The other day I felt a little off – not my usual CFS symptoms – but swollen glands, aches and pain, hot and cold and little headache. I was like oh shit, I'm getting 'normal people sick' (as I call it). I drank water with lemon in it all day, rested and by nightfall as the pain worsened I took Panadol and an extra probiotic. I was convinced it was the onset of a virus. I messaged my boyfriend saying that I felt like death was trying to overtake my body. A couple hours later he turned up at my house with a happy meal and a sundae. I said;
“Haven't you had dinner yet?
“Yeah, this is for you”
“Why”?
“Because you're sad”
“No, I just feel like I'm getting sick”
His face fell, “oh maybe you shouldn't eat it then”?
“Nooooo I don't feel yuck in the tummy, just that something is attacking my immune system”
I realised in that moment that our routine is so consistent that he automatically assumed it was chroni playing up because I didn't say otherwise. Of course, I wasn't to know he was going to buy me a full McDonald's meal, but I didn't even think to state ‘normal people sick’. I too am just so used to being unwell because of my CFS that I didn't even think my dialogue would be misinterpreted. It's hard to imagine a day where I'm not impacted by it in some way – though there are some days where I’m symptom free.
As I dived into my happy meal, I was appreciative of the fact that he picked tonight to cheer me up with a simple act of kindness – something that I’m always grateful for. When I had my first two wisdom teeth out, I couldn’t eat anything solid, I could barely move my mouth and was in constant pain. When I could slowly swallow liquids and jellies, he bought me chocolate sundaes because it was easy to digest, soothed my mouth and cheered me up as I was irritable with my recovery stage. Even when we were friends he brought me chocolate to cheer me up when I was going through a bad break up.
When you’re chronically ill and spend most of your time resting – your mind wanders – and because of this I always have the chance to reflect on small things like this. After years of being together, small gestures can be taken for granted because relationships become about routines. If you do something often enough, it's implied the other person is appreciative without saying a word. Of course I said thank-you, but I didn't ramble on about how much this meant to me in that moment. Just like he didn’t explicitly state his intention for the food – but this food was a gesture that he acknowledges what I’m feeling and that he’s there for me.
I guess they don't call it a happy meal for nothing :)
“Haven't you had dinner yet?
“Yeah, this is for you”
“Why”?
“Because you're sad”
“No, I just feel like I'm getting sick”
His face fell, “oh maybe you shouldn't eat it then”?
“Nooooo I don't feel yuck in the tummy, just that something is attacking my immune system”
I realised in that moment that our routine is so consistent that he automatically assumed it was chroni playing up because I didn't say otherwise. Of course, I wasn't to know he was going to buy me a full McDonald's meal, but I didn't even think to state ‘normal people sick’. I too am just so used to being unwell because of my CFS that I didn't even think my dialogue would be misinterpreted. It's hard to imagine a day where I'm not impacted by it in some way – though there are some days where I’m symptom free.
As I dived into my happy meal, I was appreciative of the fact that he picked tonight to cheer me up with a simple act of kindness – something that I’m always grateful for. When I had my first two wisdom teeth out, I couldn’t eat anything solid, I could barely move my mouth and was in constant pain. When I could slowly swallow liquids and jellies, he bought me chocolate sundaes because it was easy to digest, soothed my mouth and cheered me up as I was irritable with my recovery stage. Even when we were friends he brought me chocolate to cheer me up when I was going through a bad break up.
When you’re chronically ill and spend most of your time resting – your mind wanders – and because of this I always have the chance to reflect on small things like this. After years of being together, small gestures can be taken for granted because relationships become about routines. If you do something often enough, it's implied the other person is appreciative without saying a word. Of course I said thank-you, but I didn't ramble on about how much this meant to me in that moment. Just like he didn’t explicitly state his intention for the food – but this food was a gesture that he acknowledges what I’m feeling and that he’s there for me.
I guess they don't call it a happy meal for nothing :)