Dear 17 year old self, there are a few things you need to know.
Although you have just been diagnosed with an illness that is incurable and your world is falling apart, you are entitled to feel every emotion, but please do not give up.
I know it would be the easier option because your body is self destructing and there is not much you can do right now except cry and hope that you will find some good in this situation, well i am here to tell you, you will find the good in this awful situation.
It is not going to be easy, but you will get there. Firstly, let those who do not understand your illness leave, you do not want to have to keep explaining it and making people believe you because that takes extra energy that you do not have. If they are really that close to you they will come back or stay. Never chase.
Try to open up as much as you can, but only when you are ready. People are trying to be there for you, but it is hard to talk to you when you are always angry and depressed, but know they do love you and want whats best for you. Plus, once you do open up to a professional, after a few years, your mental health will be in remission and you will have the tools to look after yourself. Also, DO NOT be ashamed for getting help. You have always encouraged others to get help, do not be stubborn because its you.
Your future goals will be put on hold for now, but one day you will travel like planned, just give it time, i think you would much rather be healthier than you are now when travelling so you can enjoy it.
You will go to college and then university. Although that nasty lady made college sound like a downgrade which stressed you, it really wasn't because it was a nice pathway to get adjusted, especially with an illness that flared with nearly everything. You now have a good routine that suits you at uni. People do not know about your illness at uni, which is okay, do not be discouraged and inclined to tell people, because it is always your personal decision. Tell people you trust and want to put in the energy to speak to.
You wont have a job, but you are still learning that it is okay. Your job is full time studying and getting better. So if anyone ever makes you feel bad about not having a job, say you do.
Your bad days have a way of sneaking up on you and although you know what to do and how to prevent it , there are moments where the emotional pain takes over because it is frustrating. This will never change but just let yourself grieve and do not feel guilty because at the end of the day, it is you that is feeling it, no one else. Get it all out and start anew the next day. Best advice i was ever given.
Eventually you will find courage to speak about your private battles in public to family, friends and strangers. It may sound absurd, but you do it. It was time people understood how you and many others feel when fighting an invisible battle that has many different symptoms and repercussions. There are times when this is hard because it is personal and still so fresh, with only being sick for three years. But you accomplish things, you make friends, you speak up and people believe in you and you begin to believe in yourself.
As for friends and family, well it is hard. But you are making progress, your family members now ask you how you are feeling and your friends are reading what you post online through your page, etc. As for those you only know briefly, try not to feel judged, yes not everyone understands your illness and to others you may be quiet or even snobby. But what they do not know is how your body is feeling and what it takes at times to be able to go out for long periods of times. You are allowed to feel angry and sad that you miss out on things, but for all those nights you are at home resting or doing something alternative, you are probably doing your body good. I am not saying it is always fair, but i am sure it is fair for your body. Always listen to it. Please do not push it too far if possible.
Not everything is figured out at this moment, because you are only 20, but little things are there that you can be grateful for. Times may get rough again but you know that at the end of the day there are people who love you and will support you, plus you have gotten through this multiple times among other things.
Be brave. You are fighting a battle and i am proud you have decided to fight instead of letting it take over you.
Although you have just been diagnosed with an illness that is incurable and your world is falling apart, you are entitled to feel every emotion, but please do not give up.
I know it would be the easier option because your body is self destructing and there is not much you can do right now except cry and hope that you will find some good in this situation, well i am here to tell you, you will find the good in this awful situation.
It is not going to be easy, but you will get there. Firstly, let those who do not understand your illness leave, you do not want to have to keep explaining it and making people believe you because that takes extra energy that you do not have. If they are really that close to you they will come back or stay. Never chase.
Try to open up as much as you can, but only when you are ready. People are trying to be there for you, but it is hard to talk to you when you are always angry and depressed, but know they do love you and want whats best for you. Plus, once you do open up to a professional, after a few years, your mental health will be in remission and you will have the tools to look after yourself. Also, DO NOT be ashamed for getting help. You have always encouraged others to get help, do not be stubborn because its you.
Your future goals will be put on hold for now, but one day you will travel like planned, just give it time, i think you would much rather be healthier than you are now when travelling so you can enjoy it.
You will go to college and then university. Although that nasty lady made college sound like a downgrade which stressed you, it really wasn't because it was a nice pathway to get adjusted, especially with an illness that flared with nearly everything. You now have a good routine that suits you at uni. People do not know about your illness at uni, which is okay, do not be discouraged and inclined to tell people, because it is always your personal decision. Tell people you trust and want to put in the energy to speak to.
You wont have a job, but you are still learning that it is okay. Your job is full time studying and getting better. So if anyone ever makes you feel bad about not having a job, say you do.
Your bad days have a way of sneaking up on you and although you know what to do and how to prevent it , there are moments where the emotional pain takes over because it is frustrating. This will never change but just let yourself grieve and do not feel guilty because at the end of the day, it is you that is feeling it, no one else. Get it all out and start anew the next day. Best advice i was ever given.
Eventually you will find courage to speak about your private battles in public to family, friends and strangers. It may sound absurd, but you do it. It was time people understood how you and many others feel when fighting an invisible battle that has many different symptoms and repercussions. There are times when this is hard because it is personal and still so fresh, with only being sick for three years. But you accomplish things, you make friends, you speak up and people believe in you and you begin to believe in yourself.
As for friends and family, well it is hard. But you are making progress, your family members now ask you how you are feeling and your friends are reading what you post online through your page, etc. As for those you only know briefly, try not to feel judged, yes not everyone understands your illness and to others you may be quiet or even snobby. But what they do not know is how your body is feeling and what it takes at times to be able to go out for long periods of times. You are allowed to feel angry and sad that you miss out on things, but for all those nights you are at home resting or doing something alternative, you are probably doing your body good. I am not saying it is always fair, but i am sure it is fair for your body. Always listen to it. Please do not push it too far if possible.
Not everything is figured out at this moment, because you are only 20, but little things are there that you can be grateful for. Times may get rough again but you know that at the end of the day there are people who love you and will support you, plus you have gotten through this multiple times among other things.
Be brave. You are fighting a battle and i am proud you have decided to fight instead of letting it take over you.